Many parents complain that the preadolescence of children is earlier. Now, between the ages of 8 and 11, a child is considered to have left childhood behind and embarks on a path that leads directly to adolescence. It is a stage in which they are not children, but they are not adolescents or pubescent either.
Preadolescence is characterized by a series of psychological and emotional changes in children before the physical changes typical of adolescence begin. It is the parents who notice these changes the most since it affects the way they behave and act.
My case is the other way around, my oldest son, despite not having reached the age of 8, already seems a child of 10. His size and physiognomy is that of a pre-adolescent, however, his way of behaving, thinking, reacting and understanding, is that of a child. Although, sometimes, he already begins to have certain behaviors that reveal that I will soon have at home ... a pre-adolescent!
It is often said that the preadolescence and adolescence of girls is much more complicated than that of boys. I don't think it has any scientific basis, but in my case it is 100% true and I still remember how unbearable I became between 13 and 17. I don't know how my poor mother keeps talking to me!
There are a series of attitudes and behaviors that make us suspect that our little one has already become a pre-adolescent:
- Friends: they take on special importance. They create a more star relationship with other boys and girls and prioritize being with their friends over other activities that previously attracted them.
- Rebellion: They tend to want to be more independent and try to impose their rules. They argue and confront parents and no longer comply with what their parents ask of them as they used to.
- Autonomy: they want to do things on their own like ride the bus, go to the mall or go to school.
What can we as parents of tweens do?
In addition to talking to them, trying to understand them or opening space so that they have more autonomy as they get older, we only have one solution to put into practice: arm ourselves with large doses of patience.
Apart from putting a dose of understanding and tolerance in the education of children at this stage, we must continue to apply limits or reference standards, and little by little we must expand their space in the direction of autonomy.
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